Working to a Breaking Point

I know that there are a lot of people in this world that have depression and anxiety so bad that they can not work. I don't know how all of that works, but weeks like this week I wish there was something I could do to make something work so I didn't have to force myself through that pain.

I try so hard. I try to slow down while I check the work of my employees. I try using extra tools even when to my naked eye it looks okay. I try to do something beyond what I am expected to every shift. Then someone checks into the room and all of the sudden there is hair everywhere, boogers in the shower, previous guest belongings that I missed.I don't know what to do anymore. I will literally do everything that I am required too, plus add on more that I just know needs to be done, let it carry over into my home life and work on stuff at home. Then I will get a written coaching, I will get a lecture about how I should have done better. I want to give up on life when I start to go through it.

I will be forced to do my position, the position of two other people and still be expected to be perfect in every aspect. I will literally run for 9 hours straight and then come home to find an email that came through as I walked home about how I need to make sure to do this. I just can't take anymore pressure, and the worst part is I know that every job out there is like that. That no matter what you do for the company; no amount of sweat, blood, tears, restless nights, you are still replaceable. You are still not going to meet their expectations; and the first time you do they will raise their standards again.

Which don't get me wrong I know that without this process of constantly raising the bar or standard we can not grow and progress in our development. I just wish that maybe just for a short time the world could just be content with where we have gotten, what we have been given. To take a step back from advancing and progressing and appreciate what is right in front of their face. However, like the 'American Dream' this too is just a childish dream.

We as society have adapted so much to the customer is always right, and to the advancement in technology and such that we forget to appreciate the time and energy that everything, not machine operated, was spent on things.

Think about it back in 1930 if you went into a bed and breakfast or some little inn and you got to your room and there was a hair under the tub right behind the claw foot of the tub, you dare not complain. That would be ungrateful and you might be out on the roadside with the entire town already notified of your character.

Now and days you find one single strand about one inch long in your hotel room, on the floor behind the bottom of the hotel and pictures, video, over played rude comments are sent out for millions to view about 'the worst stay' or 'the dirtiest hotel'. Then when they check out the housekeeper finds a comment card of how they hated it there, in a room that looked like untamed chimpanzees were trying to escape from.

Think about it, how many saw the video about the 'de-pants thief at family dollar' within a few days it was viral and seen by countless people, where as if that had happened in the 30's he would have been shot at on the spot, by more than one store with one employee. Yet today people see that and comment how the employee was in the wrong for trying to stop him. (Another example of never being good enough is with every employer.)

So today with all of this weighing on me and making it harder to get out if bed I explore the life happiness point of cleaning. Being able to clean and organize my life is one thing that makes me not only happy but helps me feel more relaxed. Sometimes getting the motivation to do what I need to is hard but I am trying everyday to keep the benefits of it in mind.

Today I cleaned. Today I found some happiness.